Reflect on what it means to have a “with-us” God. If you have experienced a time of isolation, from God or others, what practices might help you break free from that isolation? How can you support others experiencing loneliness and isolation?
Connection as God’s plan for humanity.
We are lonely sometimes. Sometimes we want to be alone. That’s ok. But not all the time. We can’t go alone all the time. It’s just not how we are. Maybe, “…how we were created.”
The US surgeon general published a 68-page book in 2023 about an “epidemic” of loneliness and isolation[1] here in the United States. How can this be, with all the “social media” apparent today? Zooming here and there…..
Ruth is a daughter-in-law who lost her husband. Sadly. Naomi is a mother who lost her husband AND her sons. Lost their family connections. Because of this, at the time, these women all lost their security, which could cost them their lives. This situation impressed upon these women that they needed each other.
It all started when Naomi went with her husband and sons to a foreign land, Moab – not a Jewish state – likely to find work and food. Their son’s married the local women, maybe against Jewish Law, but who knew? They were out of town. Then all the men in their family died. Ruth and Orpha both became widows. Naomi became a widow AND a grieving mother. Naomi was in more trouble though because she was a foreigner in Moab, with little to help her there, away from her home, and older. So, she wisely decides to go back home to her own people where she hears there is food, and perhaps, security.
If you have ever moved away from your family maybe you can understand.
In a way, I understand because when I was just a child we lived away from both of my grandparents and extended families. Sometimes, still today, I wish I had been closer to my cousins who live more mid-state. Family belonging is much more difficult if not living nearby.
Anyway, Naomi tells her two daughters-in-law to “turn back” to their own families in Moab because Naomi cannot supply them the security they need. Orpha goes back to her home family. But Ruth argues with Naomi. Don’t tell me to turn back; I’ll stay with you, she says.
Why did Ruth not want to stay where she “belonged?”
THIS IS A STORY OF CONNECTION. Of kinship outside of blood relations.
Our connections for belonging are not always determined by race, nation or family. Why did Ruth feel this way? IDK Maybe her family would not accept her back. Maybe her family abused her because she seemed to be abandoned by God, like Naomi. Maybe her family was not even there anymore….
OR…. Maybe she realized she was loved more by Naomi than by her own family. Maybe she had grown to love Naomi because Naomi loved her. Ruth was willing to belong with Naomi and all of her people and her God, even though, now, Ruth would be the foreigner. Maybe Ruth just knew Naomi’s God made Naomi kind and loving and she wanted that too.
In any case, Ruth remained faithful to her mother-in-law, Naomi, and insisted on going with her, outside of familial kinship.
Most of us will naturally go where we feel part of the whole; part of the system; part of the group. Understood. We go where we feel we belong. Belonging feels good, right?
Sometimes we don’t even think much about how we belong. But many twins can tell you that belonging is something they very much feel – all the time -, even if they “disagree” (ok they fight) at times. You may know that Caley, our Communications Coordinator, is an identical twin. Did you know that? She and her twin sister have had some very unique experiences, spanning their whole lives, living in constant connection with each other. There have been some awkward moments, some funny moments. In fact, she said, and gave me permission to share, that they are so connected that they don’t hug each other – ever. So connected that hugging seems odd or strange, though they hug their older sister and others.
They are, in ways, WITH each other, all the time, even though they live miles apart. In fact, Caley said this week that she feels sad for people who don’t get to experience this kind of connection.
Now, I know, that twins may not always feel this way. Many variations exist. But Caley’s relationship with her sister illustrates the idea that it IS possible to be spiritually and emotionally connected with a person so much that they feel “always” together.
…………….Our human mind can accept this as very real.
The opposite is true as well. When we feel we don’t belong – or we, in fact, do not belong and are treated as such, we feel that rejection, isolation, that emptiness, OFTEN long after the in-person encounters. We also often feel that way when we lose an important person in our lives to death or disease. We feel that for a long time afterwards. We feel the whole group beginning to change, or maybe “fall apart” as it does when some people leave this place – a reality we all have experienced. Although, having said that, many people say that they still “feel” their loved one with them even after death, testifying to the spiritual connection.
Ruth must have known that she “belonged” with Naomi, regardless of her ties to her blood relationships. In fact, further down the lineage, she becomes part of the ancestry of Jesus.
Part of the message we communicate at Advent is that God – Emmanuel – is WITH us. Not “with-us” in the sense of physical presence – but “with-us” in the sense of emotional and spiritual presence. Not a “skin-on” person, but there, anyway.
You’ve heard the story of the little boy who one night got scared and ran to his parents’ bedroom for comfort. Mom/Dad told the little boy not to be afraid because God was always with him. The child responded, “Yes, I know, but I need someone with “skin-on.”
It’s strange, isn’t it? A God going through all this, “with us,” – rather than “God” controlling things to always work well – “for us.” After all, doesn’t God have the power to make it all work out well for us, and be here in person?
I imagine God could, and in fact, another part of our Advent message is that one day in the future Jesus will do just that; but I guess today is not that day. Not yet anyway. I keep looking.
Right now, God’s good purpose is to be “with-us” spiritually.
Now, a “with-us” God is hard to comprehend, but is compelling and repeats in the bible.
- A with-us God is one who respects our personhood, and free will; and does not insist on their own way – by forcing us to comply.
- A with-us God is one who is willing to look upon us and see our need, responding with God’s power as is good for us.
- A with-us God is one who understands the whole system of creation, mortality, loss, and evolution and supports humanity as we progress through all time.
- A with-us God is one who assists us with inspiration and ideas so that we can also be creators. Blessings in the universe, ourselves. WOW! Many life-changing discoveries have a start rooted in the inspiration of “accident.” Penicillin, a drug that has saved millions, is one of them. It was discovered by “accident.” Sure.
- A with-us God supports our god-likeness, ……if we can just see what God sees, in us.
The hidden nature of God just makes us need to use more of our spiritual senses and intellect to discover her/him/them, and to understanding spiritual things as real.
I think, without this “with us” God, we would not be able to rise to these blessings. We would be alone. We were not meant to be alone – and we are not alone.
The Ecclesiastes passage speaks about a three-fold cord. As a metaphor for you, me and God, it illustrates a connection that is strong enough to survive the onslaught of the ravages of the natural earth. Strong enough to withstand the ravages of the sin and wrong doings of our humanness. Strong enough to dispel our fear of each other.
That is the strength of that three-fold cord. Me, You, and God, makes us stronger together.
While these bible passages are often used at weddings, the “Me and You,” doesn’t have to mean a romantic relationship. The “me and you” can be anyone with whom we find connection, ……not perfection.
The “with-us” God is here – but definitely not overpowering. Why? Because sometimes we choose wrongly and need to learn from our mistakes. God with us helps us to choose rightly – better and better as we live and learn.
So then, we can agree that “God- with-us” is a strange, but compelling, concept that, if we can really comprehend it, and see a bigger picture for humanity, we can see the beauty of it.
(or maybe we can’t agree on this… Do you agree? Can we please Agree on Something!!)
We aren’t meant to do this alone.
The season of flickering candles and twinkling lights can have a shadow side filled with loneliness and grief. For many, it feels like anything but the happiest time of the year…[2] Cultivating compassionate community is the antidote.
A Sanctified Art
If you feel alone this day, I encourage you to look around and recognize those who can be, or are, part of your journey. It can be a friend, a family member, cousins, roommate, neighbor, a church member, or a group of members. Everybody needs a girl gang or a guy gang or a gaggle gang, or a groupie or go-to gang – whatever you want to call it. (I made some of that up)
There are many ties of kinship we form that build connection and belonging. The church is a good place to build connection with others. (Not perfect, mind you. Forgiveness kicks in.)
This God with-us – called Emmanuel – is part of the three-fold cord, that can withstand the harshness of this world as we begin to find our place in the journey toward wholeness.
If you are blessed with many connections, then maybe you can BE a blessing, and reach out to someone else who may be struggling with loneliness or isolation; check on them. Offer them some care.
Thanks be to God for God’s wonderful plan. May you find the blessings of God’s presence this Advent season. Amen.
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[1] https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf
[2] Sanctified Art – Words for the Beginning – We can’t go alone Sermon Planning pg 10
